Tag Archives: daughter

Parenting is hard: sibling jealousy

I’ve been noticing in the last few months that E1 has been taunting her sister more and more, or doing things just to bother her. Putting her foot on E2’s chair. Purposefully taking up more space so there is no room for E2. Belittling things or accomplishments that E2 wanted to share with the family. They still had lots of moments where they got along great and have fun together, but the ratio was starting to to the other way.

I decided to address it at our family meeting this week. Continue reading Parenting is hard: sibling jealousy

By which name should kids address me?

I’ve been volunteering at my daughter’s school recently and I’ve come to a little conundrum: by which name should I get the kids to address me? Right now they greet me as “E1’s mom” which really isn’t sufficient. (Gotta educate them early that there is more to a person than being merely defined by her relationship to someone else.)

Having the kids call me by my first name would be pretty easy, it’s the name I’ve grown up responding to. However, there is a part of me that thinks that as a parent, I’m not here to be friends, I’m part of the community of adults helping to raise these children. With that hat on, a level of formality helps establish and maintain a level of respect, especially if I’m going to be calling them out on improper behaviour. Mrs. Toh or Ms. Toh accomplishes that.

But Jen, you say, isn’t the name “Mrs. Toh” also defining yourself via your relationship to your husband? Didn’t you just say above you didn’t want to do that? Yes fine, technically it is, but I’m complicated that way. I’m of a mind that it’s up to each person to determine how they want to be referred to. I chose willingly to adopt my husbands last name, it’s on all my ID, so Mrs. Toh it is. I do not have “E1’s mom” on my ID.

This leads me to then think: how should I teach my daughters to address other adults, as a default? Continue reading By which name should kids address me?

Portrait of my younger daughter E2-Age 4

E2, so cute she’s delicious. The last vestiges of toddler chub remain on E2’s body, so I get my nibbles in whenever I can. “Mommy, people are not for eating!” she protests to me. But how can anyone resist squeezing or nipping those cute chubby cheeks, roundish belly, and juicy legs? Already this past summer she has been lengthening out, and I just know by the end of this winter my baby will be transformed fully to little girl. Continue reading Portrait of my younger daughter E2-Age 4

Portrait of my elder daughter E1-age 6

*Sigh*, my first baby is no longer a baby, not by a long shot. Six years old and E1 is already so mature. I totally trust her to keep herself safe and not initiate trouble or take excessive risks–she is a bit of a scaredy-cat. Her limbs and torso have lengthened out and that baby chub she had as a toddler is long gone. She has a generally sunny disposition and even temper. The following are other random tidbits about E1, as a profile: Continue reading Portrait of my elder daughter E1-age 6