{"id":651,"date":"2015-05-09T10:49:45","date_gmt":"2015-05-09T14:49:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/?p=651"},"modified":"2015-05-09T10:49:45","modified_gmt":"2015-05-09T14:49:45","slug":"why-i-support-the-update-to-the-sex-ed-curriculum-in-ontario","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/?p=651","title":{"rendered":"Why I support the update to the sex ed curriculum in Ontario"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So the topic of sex ed\u00a0has been blowing up in the news\u00a0again this week, as Ontario parents against the curriculum changes banded together to take their kids out of class for the week in\u00a0a \u201cstrike\u201d protest. I gather\u00a0that they believe that the content and schedule of curriculum delivery is harmful to their children.<\/p>\n<p>I get it. As parents, we all want the best for our children. We want them to grow up to be healthy, happy, connected and loved individuals, and to protect them from harm where we can. But these adjectives are pretty vague in terms of\u00a0specific goals and ambitions, driving\u00a0the IT delivery manager in me to distraction. I decided to take a step back to look at what specific goals I want for my daughters. (taking from Stephen Covey, &#8220;Begin with the goal in mind&#8221;)<!--more--><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>I want my daughters to understand their bodies and not be ashamed of them, especially as their bodies (and brains) change through puberty.<\/strong> I don\u2019t want other people\u2019s ignorance and discomfort to project onto my daughters and\u00a0manipulate them into unhealthy behaviours, or influence how they feel about themselves. Arming them with knowledge\u00a0and keeping the discussion active through the years is how I think is best to combat this.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I want my daughters to be comfortable approaching me and their father\u00a0with their questions, concerns, or just to talk.<\/strong> Again, the tactic here is to answer from a young age the questions they ask truthfully and frankly, but within the context of their maturity of understanding. In addition, this means my initiating conversation around\u00a0uncomfortable subjects when the need arises. (e.g. viewing something happen in public, on the news, or in TV or movies). I\u2019m hoping with practice, the discussions and explainations on my part will be less uncomfortable. We\u2019re making the conscious decision to invest in having these small awkward conversations, that added up through the long term, maintains an environment where the girls are comfortable enough to talk to us frankly.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I want my daughters to be able to identify when they are uncomfortable in a situation, and to have the vocabulary to explain to the other person.<\/strong> The concept of consent should be grounded in every interaction with others, whether it\u2019s playing games, play wrestling, to giving\/receiving hugs and kisses all the way to touching and sexual activity. This is why consent needs to be taught at an early age. I\u2019ve stopped insisting that my kids give hugs to our friends or extended family that they don\u2019t know as well. This was common before when they were younger, lest they be thought rude. Some thing I read a couple of years ago helped me realize that\u00a0action then subtly\u00a0reinforces that if the person is older\/bigger\/has more authority than them, they can make them do something they are uncomfortable with. Our girls can say they feel shy, and I\u2019ll offer a high-five as a substitute greeting.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I want my daughters to also make sure they are respecting others and be aware of non-verbal signs for those who don\u2019t have the vocabulary or the courage to speak up<\/strong>. Essential anti-bullying education, right?<\/li>\n<li><strong>I want my daughters to understand that sex is not just a physical act.<\/strong> It should be\u00a0an emotional one too, and one where you are vulnerable with the other person, so two-way respect is critical. I think promiscuous sex is when those factors don\u2019t come into the picture. Then there is the use of\u00a0sex to sell, to titillate, to empower, to take away power, and to shame. These are complicated waters to navigate through, and ones they will have to start navigating once they and their peers are reaching puberty. The availability of mobile phones and internet compounds this even more.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I want my daughters to understand what it means\u00a0when they are saying \u201cNo to sex\u201d.<\/strong> That means necessarily having terminology and defining the different types of sexual intercourse. Otherwise it\u2019s akin to defining a rainbow with only red, yellow and blue as colours within it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I wish for\u00a0my daughters to wait until they are adults and are in long-term, committed relationships before they have sex. And that the sex they have is enjoyable, pleasurable, loving, and emotionally connecting with their partner<\/strong>. I hope they will wait until they are adults to avoid making the decision while impaired, i.e. going through\u00a0the\u00a0social, emotional and psychological\u00a0upheavals\u00a0that occur through their adolescence. Taking from\u00a0the previous point, I hope they realize that many high school relationships are fleeting and would be wary of sex at this age. When they do decide to have sex, they should be doing it because\u00a0<em>they<\/em> want to and are finding pleasure in it, and not just to please\u00a0their partner. Porn sex is not real sex, and they should insist to not \u00a0mimic it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I want my daughters to understand if they do make bad choices, even in spite of the knowledge they have, that my husband and I will still unconditionally love them and support them. <\/strong>This means holding my tongue when others make mistakes and\u00a0not be negatively critical.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I want my daughters to understand that love is love, different people\u00a0love in different ways, and that\u2019s ok.<\/strong>\u00a0It\u2019s also the law in Canada.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When I take a look at these goals I have for my girls\u2019 sexual education, I think the curriculum aligns very well with it, in content, \u00a0timing, and context. For me, the partnership in education between school and home works.<\/p>\n<p>If it doesn\u2019t align with your goals for your children, I need to ask you what your ambitions are. Is\u00a0your ambition for your daughter\u2019s sexual education is merely to not have her get pregnant before marriage and to not be raped? \u00a0Is your ambition for your son\u2019s sexual education is just to not get a girl pregnant before marriage and to not obtain an STD? If so, I certainly invite you to reach for greater ambitions than that.<\/p>\n<p>~Jen<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So the topic of sex ed\u00a0has been blowing up in the news\u00a0again this week, as Ontario parents against the curriculum changes banded together to take their kids out of class for the week in\u00a0a \u201cstrike\u201d protest. I gather\u00a0that they believe that the content and schedule of curriculum delivery is harmful to their children. I get &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/?p=651\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Why I support the update to the sex ed curriculum in Ontario<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":662,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,6],"tags":[315],"class_list":["post-651","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-rants-and-reflections","tag-sex-ed"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/birds_and_bees-1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=651"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/662"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeneralmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}